A Love Letter to Jillian Michaels

o jillian

my love for you will never be reciprocated

in part because i cannot do two push-ups in a row

not even the girly ones

with knees on the floor

 

and yet when i shadow your movements while ripped in thirty spins in its xbox

i am inspired to lunge harder

lunge like the people in the nike commercials lunge

like really good lunges

 

and my confession is

when i skipped the second set of side step-lifts that you requested

to go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water (and, yes, glare at you)

my conscience ate at me so

that i did the set after our cool-down

and after you had told me to have a wonderful day.

 

and as i lifted my electric green weights grossly foamy with sweat

in my guilt-ridden side-steps

that you had requested of me

i thought fondly of you, jillian

remembering our time spent in boot camp

and the windmilling we did with our arms to warm ourselves

 

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