Two Interactions

At My Place of Employment: A Clothing Store

I’m straightening up clothing coming out of the dressing room when a young, skinny woman approaches.

Her: Can I try on those pants? The label says it’s a size zero, right?

Me: You can have the pants, but they’re actually a size eight.

Her: Rears back in disgust, shudders

Me: Tempted to throw the pants at her and scream, ‘Contagious! Size eights are contagious!”


At line in Target, buying about twelve pounds of bananas, because the bananas at Target are nine cents cheaper per pound than any other local grocer

Cashier: That’s a lot of bananas.

Me: Yes, I drink a lot of smoothies. It’s that time of year.

Cashier: Weighing bananas

Me: Did you know that you guys at Target are instigating a price war? All of the prices on bananas locally keep dropping, which is pretty great.

Cashier: That’s cool.

Me: Yay for evil corporations, right? little pom-pom motion with hands

Me: Not that Target is evil. I mean, I love Target.

Cashier: casts out a dubious look

Me: clears throat, frantically searching for way to mend budding commercial-type acquaintance with cashier

Me: Hey, at least WalMart is always more evil!

Cashier: Definitely more evil.


banana party! no one wanted the apples or sweet potatoes to come, but they tagged along.

in other news, i am breaking new barriers with my no-vegetable salads: am currently obsessed with massaged kale / pinto beans / half-ish of a potato / some guac / tons of pico de gallo


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